Nothing Ever Ends

I've recently experienced Watchmen, both in comic and movie form. I have a lot of thoughts on the subject matter, so it's best I put them down before Watchmen becomes completely irrelevant.

I haven't read a whole lot of comics, so I'm not going to pretend like I know what I'm talking about, but from what I understand, what appears to set Watchmen apart from many other comics is that it is full of heroes who, aside from being completely human, are completely non-heroic by nature. The only character in the story who has any kind of superhuman ability is Dr. Manhattan, who's massive intellect and godlike powers have pushed him so far away from his own humanity that he has completely lost all interest in the human race.

Watchmen is essentially a story about normal people who only pretend to be heroes, as the word "hero" is one of the last words which can be used to describe them. Throughout the story, the results of each characters flaws, bad choices, and personal demons mingle and merge, creating a tangled web of human imperfection. Despite the fact that these characters are going out in the middle of the night to fight crime, they have their own very real set of problems. In a sense, their being branded as "heroes" is somewhat of a joke (as the Comedian character notes in a flashback, "It's all a joke.")

There's a great moment in the comic (which was unfortunately kind of mangled in the film adaptation,) where Adrian Veidt is reflecting on the choices he's made in sacrificing millions of lives in order to unite two nations on the brink of nuclear war, and he asks Dr. Manhattan, "Did I do the right thing in the end?", to which he resonds, "Nothing ever ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends."

A lot of things have happened in my life in the last few years which still baffle me when I go back and reflect - in these times, I often feel disconnected from myself, as if I'm an observer of my life rather than a participant (in a way, not unlike Dr. Manhattan.) I tend to try to find narratives and trends in my life and figure out how they might translate to text/film/any other storytelling method - possibly because I've spent too much time living in fantasy worlds? I don't know.

I've made choices in the past few years. I've made decisions, reacted to things that have happened to me, done things which have affected those close to me. Some of these things I'm proud of; some of these things, quite the opposite. So, when I look back on these events and try to find natural narratives as I normally do, it's very much in my character to try to find natural end points to some of these plot strings and narratives. I ask myself: What was the significance of everything that has happened? How have these things changed me as a person? Where are we now in comparison to where we were before? And, most significantly, did I do the right thing in the end?

And then I realize - life isn't a narrative. As often as it may seem like there are patterns and structure, I remember what I have believed for so many years: "There's no fate but what we make for ourselves." To suggest that life is a story would imply that our futures our written, which I refuse to accept (well, not completely, at any rate.) Life is really just a huge melting pot of billions of people and their trillions of decisions, made every day, every moment of every person's lives. Time is unstable, making fate virtually impossible. So, when you get right down to it, nothing really ever does end - the world is in constant flux, and we are meant to adapt. Right thing? Wrong thing? We're all going to make both of said decisions at one point or another.

I guess what's most important is that we don't get hung up on what's happened. "Keep moving forward." Yes, we can learn from the past, but the important thing is that we keep going, keep adapting, keep living.

Watchmen has no end, really. No problems are solved - the end of the story implies that the conflict will continue indefinitely, and that the characters are going to keep struggling, whether they want to or not. I suppose that's why this story has resonated with me.

Just For Fun

Ck recorded this on her new Macbook while we were at Panera, brainstorming for our next video project... a look at the creative process behind our work. It's all very silly.

Once again, more later...

The Will is Everything

Today I...
- Beat Max 300 on DDR three times in a row, effectively making it my bitch.
- Belted Irish drinking songs for an hour in choir.
- Re-typed a play script for EC while watching Terminator 3.
- Edited photos of me on a farm.
- Did Suzuki.
- Filmed people throwing themselves on the ground screaming and doing flamboyant transvestite dances during play rehearsal.
- Saw Coraline in 3D again (I love our new 3D projector at our theatre.)
- Albertaco'd
- Wrote a paper about Aladdin and racism. I'm sorry, Disney.
- Designed this very random faux album cover because of another Facebook virus.


Yesterday I randomly found myself at the Esco Center for the Arts watching a hip-hop show, and at a farm in Pauma Valley the day before, trying new veggies I'd never heard of - my days have been long, yet varied, and I am grateful for this.

That's all for now. More later, I promise. Now, bed.

Life's But a Walking Shadow, pt. 2

I just finished putting together this 7 min documentary on Suzuki training, after a late night in the editing lab on Monday that ended at 2 am. All in all, I'm pretty happy with the response I received after viewing this in video class the next day. For those who didn't feel like reading my somewhat longish blog about Suzuki, you can just watch this video instead!

Yesterday our guerrilla theatre club pulled off it's first mission, which was a 5 min freeze in the cafeteria (known as THE DOME to CSUSM students) during lunch hour. It went fairly well, though I'm hoping we can get more people next time around and do something a bit crazier. I put together this website, www.dagnabitproductions.com, to detail our shenanigans - have a look, if you please.

In other random news, it has been confirmed that I'm going to have the lead part in our piece for the dance show, and there's a good chance I'll be doing a solo/duet piece for my choir concert (possibly A Whole New World, fingers crossed.) This means extra practices for both classes.

I reiterate - life, bring it on.

Someone Stop Me Before I Break Myself

I'm not entirely sure how this happened, but as of yesterday, I'm now somehow part of a guerrilla theatre club on campus. This is on top of everything else I'm doing this semester, which includes three advanced digital art classes, a play, choir performances, the dance show, the web design internship, and my promotions job which I decided not to give up. I'm not sure to what extent I'll be working with this group (acting, video work, or a combination,) but the time commitment doesn't seem too taxing and I figured I'd give it a shot.

If you don't know what guerrilla theatre is, the following video is a good example (even if you do know what guerrilla theatre is, you should watch it anyway because it's hysterical.)

So I suppose I'll have more on this recent development of my life as it comes. Seems like it's going to be a lot of fun.



I must be out of my damned mind...

Zombies!!!

"Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand..."


Survivors gearing up for the onslaught.


Vince infected.


Team Alpha about lay the smackdown on the living dead.


You can never have enough guns for this type of thing.


I was eaten alive. It was most horrific.


"Maybe... this was a bad idea,
oh no..."


The inaugural Community of Christ Zombie Patrol training session draws to a very successful close.

Life's But a Walking Shadow

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death.
Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.

- Shakespeare

I wanted to find new experiences, and it seems this is one for the books. Now that the semester is in full swing, play rehearsals for Big Love have been happening at a regular, three day per week schedule. Our daily meets have been divided into two parts, beginning with an hour of Suzuki actor training, followed by two hours of actual play rehearsal.

Suzuki training is a method of martial arts for actors that was designed to help locate the center of the body; the idea is that, if all energy is being focused on the lower torso, the actor is free to step into his or her role without having to worry about what the rest of the body is doing. It's all about balance - becoming more comfortable with how you move and gaining an overall sense of control. Here's what Wiki has to say about it:

Suzuki’s methodology for approaching theatre and performance comes from understanding ancient Greek theatre and experiencing the Japanese performance styles of Noh and Kabuki, both of which emphasize strength in traditional values, discipline, and physical control. Where Tadashi Suzuki differs is in his eclecticism and search for performance means beyond what has already been exercised. He is a progressive director who has sought to redefine any traditional notions instilled in the realm of Japanese theatre and thus revitalize an art form.

His philosophies concerning the humanistic relationship between man and earth, one that defies spirituality in the traditional sense of the term, manifest in rigorous training practices that demand an extreme level of body control and physical exertion.

What that all means for us is a lot of stomping, posing, and balance exercises designed to really test the limits of our bodies. One aspect of the training includes having to memorize text from Shakespeare (above); during any of the large variety of exercises given, the instructor may call out "TEXT!" during whatever we're doing, prompting us to hold whatever physically taxing position we may find ourselves in and recite the text from memorization. The idea behind this is to be able to direct our attention away from the pain we're feeling, instead concentrating on something very specific.

For me, this means I'm consistently coming home sore and tired every night, which has also resulted in my sleeping pattern shifting more towards that of a normal person's pattern, rather than my old bedtime of 3 or 4 am.

We'd been told during our instruction that Suzuki training can aid not only acting, but all aspects of life in general; it teaches us how to walk, breath, have presence in social situations, and just live healthier in general. Only two weeks into the program, I've found myself putting the training to practical use. Yesterday I decided to warm up with a couple of the exercises before playing my daily DDR, and also see what might happen if I applied the Shakespeare text while playing. In short, this led to a highly increased concentration; in trying to remember the text, I found myself ignoring the pain brought on from the game and having much higher stamina. Not only was I able to play for much longer than I typically do, I was somehow able to do something miraculous / borderline impossible - I beat MAX 300.

I know most aren't accustomed to the individual stages of DDR, but if you've ever played Guitar Hero or Rock Band, or any music or simulation game for that matter, you'll know there's always that one impossible stage that everyone aspires to beat - for DDR, MAX 300 is it.

(note that the guy in the video is playing with a keyboard)

Pretty insane; it's a song I've tried at least once a day everyday for the last three months and have consistently failed somewhere around the half-way point - through the text, I was able to go from there to beating it seemingly overnight. I haven't mastered it, obviously, but I feel like playing DDR may actually be a good way for me to both memorize my play lines and improve at the game.


It's raining pretty hard out right now - there is something magical about tonight. I am excited by the prospect of going downstairs in an hour for martial arts practice during the rainstorm. I'm not sure why.

Facebook VIRUS

Well this thing is going around Facebook like the flu - how rapidly it's spread is really blowing my mind right now. Crazy social experiment, it is. After being tagged twice I figured I couldn't ignore it much longer, and since I bothered to take the time to participate in this silly exercise, it just means I have an excuse not to write a real blog post tonight.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. My full name is Matthew David Chewiwie, though I was originally going to be named David Matthew Chewiwie.

2. If I leave my water bottle behind when I leave the house, I flip out just as much as I would if it were my wallet, keys, or cellphone.

3. Macaroni with hot dogs cut up in it is probably my favorite meal - it's easy to make, and covers the essentials (meat, cheese, carbs)

4. I think that if there's a "gay gene", I inherited like a mutated, half-assed version of it - it got everything right except the part about liking men.

5. I've never seen the third Lord of the Rings movie - after Two Towers I had no interest in continuing. This is a sin my friends continually try but fail to correct.

6. When I was five years old and first rode Star Tours at Disneyland, my only thoughts were "I know I can't possibly be in space right now, but HOW IN THE @^%^#@$ ARE THEY DOING THIS?!". I've been entranced by Disney Imagineering ever since.

7. I don't drink, ever, for any reason.

8. I like to stare directly into a flashlight bulb with one eye for a few seconds, and then look at the world alternating between my two eyes so that the world appears in different colors, like tints on a computer monitor. This is probably why I should be wearing glasses.

9. The Disney character I relate most with is Quasimodo. Incidentally, "Out There" is my favorite Disney song to sing.

10. When Harry Potter 7 came out, me and a group of friends bought the audio book at the midnight release and read the whole book together as a group, straight through from beginning to end. About 15 people started, and only 3 or 4 of us (including myself) made it to the end. It took over 25 hours.

11. Even at her current age, I think Meryl Streep is hot.

12. I miss my community college because of the breakfast burritos. I used to skip class for those things.

13. I can ride pretty much any roller coaster with no effect, but spinning too fast on the teacup ride will make me vomit.

14. I want to someday work on a film which gains a cult following.

15. I would love to play Amos (Roxie's husband) in a production of Chicago. John C. Reilly is my inspiration.

16. Mystery Men is among my top 5 favorite movies, though I openly acknowledge that it's a bad movie.

17. Though I continue to dine there, I have never forgiven Chipotle for getting rid of free drinks for college students.

18. One time I saw a full-sized statue of the T-800 from the Terminator movies in a Hollywood memorabilia shop - if I ever suddenly become rich, the first thing I'm going to do, before anything else, is go buy it.

19. I don't necessarily believe in reincarnation, but I like to look at everyone I know and try to figure out which animal they were in their past life. For really beautiful people, I just assume they were people in their last life. I think I was some kind of bear.

20. I will keep buying Smash Mouth's CD's as long as they keep making them.

21. I want Smash Mouth to freaking break up already.

22. I have a fear of deadlines. As a result, I usually end up pretending they don't exist to alleviate this fear, which leads to procrastination and then a greater fear of deadlines. It's a vicious cycle.

23. I can't leave Ihop until they've played a Seal song over the speakers.

24. When I was little, I wanted to be an illusionist/escape artist as an adult. I was really into magic and would practice trick knots and picking locks to escape from my sister's toy chest.

25. I want an orchestral arrangement of the ending theme to Sonic the Hedgehog 2 to be played at my funeral.

Hope that was enjoyable. On a completely unrelated note, I just realized how excited I am for the movie Coraline.

I'm tired and sore from Suzuki training, so it's bedtime. I'll explain what Suzuki training is later.

Did You Hear?

After abandoning Brett on our upcoming documentary project (in favor of killing two birds with one stone by filming my documentary at the photography field trip this Saturday,) I was ganged up on by my friends in film class and was the subject of much ridicule and picking-ons for the rest of the class period.

The results of this are evident in this film, which was our second "here's a camera you have an hour an a half go make something!" project. I was happy to be the subject of on-camera ridicule if it meant absolving my misdeeds - that said, I think these people who wrote the script know me far too well.

Tidbits REDUX

What's Matt Chewiwie been up to? TIME TO FIND OUT!

- It seems that the karaoke bar, followed by Ihop or other late night shenanigans, has become the staple of our circle's Monday nights activities. Seeing as Mondays are the only nights I have off this semester, hanging out around a fire pit with my closest friends and singing to strangers seems like a good way to take a load off.

- I ventured out into Valley Center with Brett and CK this past Saturday night for a party at Sarah's house. I was happy that I was able to have a good time despite knowing hardly anyone there (without even clinging to the few people I did know.) Rock Band, burritos, Mario Kart, jam sessions, and jumping over a fire pit all happened (there was also some drunken silliness which I was able to avoid for the most part.) I met a few new friendly people, as well. Good times.

- Last week I officially applied for graduation from CSUSM for Fall semester - with that came the dawning realization that my academic career may soon be coming to an end (I never thought I'd see this day.) I'm now starting to seriously consider grad school... more on this later.

- In other WTF news, somewhere in the last week I began thinking about how many different adventures life has to offer, and how many of them I want to experience. I've now decided that, to start, I want to get back into rock climbing, bungee jump off a bridge, go tandem sky diving, and zip line across a canyon. I'm completely serious on all counts - I've actually been looking into pricing and availability for each of these activities. Also, I want to accomplish at least one of these before the year is done (preferably NOT rock climbing; I'm looking to try something new.) Anyone up for some adventure?

- Today I started Advanced Digital Art and got a sense of what the semester is going to be like with it's workshop/field-trip based structure. My first outing will be on Saturday to a wildlife reserve in San Juan Capistrano. Through this class I'll be revisiting my digital arts blog (which most people didn't even know I kept) to document my adventures - if that's your type of thing, you can follow me at www.fravit.net/digitalarts

- The other day, while wasting time between classes, I fell asleep on the couch in the editing lab while reading Watchmen. It's official - the lab is my new second home. Sorry theater, you've been replaced.



Ehh, that's enough for now. Just felt like a bit of writing before bed, and now you're a little bit more up to speed. More on life as it hits me.