"I'm in love... Yes, that's right. Love. Unexpected for me really considering the pointless age I've managed to drag myself to, but there you go... the target of my affection? Well, it's like this:

There I was, walking quietly around the park, swinging the lead, as I'm known to do on nothing days as this was. Anyway, there's this swing that as a girl I would frolic under as the big boys swung overhead... Anyway, I digress. There she was, swinging on this swing... I say swinging - it was more a drag as her arms being a full 6 metres long were scraping on the floor. Anyway (again), I walked over and asked if she wanted a push. She grunted what I assumed was a yes and gave her an almighty push... "Weeeeeeee", she screamed, as her body, and indeed all of her left the swing and landed in an ice-cream van killing both her and Mario the ice-cream man (who I later found out changed his name from Kevin in 1984 in homage to Donkey Kong).. An ambulance arrived and out walked the sexiest nurse I've ever seen. No wooden legs, no disabilities of any kind as I no longer class no arms as a disability... Anyway (yet again), she looked over at me and smiled her toothless smile and I smiled back... So, I'm dancing on air... albeit in prison, but I'm dancing... and when i get out she's mine, Oh yes... she said she would wait for me... Young love. Oh yes." -norton