I Move On

While truckin' down the road of life, although all hope seems gone,
I just move on.

When I can't find a single star to hang my wish upon, I just move on,
I move on.

I run so fast, a shotgun blast can hurt me not one bit.

I'm on my toes cause heaven knows a moving target's hard to hit.

So as we play in life's ballet, we're not the dying swans, we just move on,
we move on.

La Mia Promessa

So my sister has a Youtube site now, and has started to put up some of the videos she's edited. I'm rather fond this this one; it's a Final Fantasy fan video set to Linkin Park. Have a look:

She goes by the screenname "Promessa," and can be found at youtube.com/promessa1125.

As for me, life goes by. I'm in the middle of the pre-spring break crunch, and the Narnia promo, so things are a bit hectic. I'd like to think spring break will be a nice stress reliever, but I have a feeling I'm going to be busy with work and school projects most of the week. I'll probably have to wait until June to get a proper breather, but I'm thinking it will be worth it.

Change of Pace

As Ryan Davis plainly put, "Worship it."

A Far Off Place

"It's important to be honest with yourself."

Some sound advice I recently received from a good friend. Actually, as much as I've made fun of it over the past week or so, it's probably the best advice I can use at the moment (see last blog entry.)

My current ipod playlist is as follows:
1. Go the Distance - Hercules
2. Out There - Hunchback of Notre Dame
3. Part of Your World - Little Mermaid
4. Angel of Music - Phantom of the Opera
5. Reflection - Mulan
6. Just Around the River Bend - Pocahontas
7. A Whole New World - Aladdin
8. Wind's Nocturne - Lunar

A real quick anecdote: so it's lunch and I have close to zero monies, so I get some 99 cent tacos from Jack and bust them out right as I pull out of the drivethru. Aas I pull onto San Marcos Blvd, the cloudy skies part just as "Go the Distance" is kicking into it's triumphant second verse. Of course, with the rays of sunlight beaming down on me, I can't help but belt the lyrics. So, just try to picture the the reaction of the lady in the car to my left; I've got my nice dress clothes and tie on, half eaten taco in one hand, wheel in the other, and the windows down, totally belting out the lyrics. If I had any shame, I wouldn't let myself end up in these type of situations for frequently.

Anyway, probably one of the more girly playlists I've made in a while. While most of the songs are from Disney, the common theme is that they all are sung in the point of the story where the protagonist realizes that the life they lead is no longer fulfilling, and they've just about reached the breaking point before they have to out and explore the world's many adventures. It's also a point of foreshadowing for the viewer, the "oh man, something is about to go down, I can feel it..." moment.

I'm not sure if that's entirely in line with how I feel at the moment, but maybe all the change I've had to endure recently (and over the last year) has to do with why I find myself listening to these songs over and over. I feel like I relate to these characters. I find that this act of a musical is usually one of the more interesting, as it's just before the point of no return. What a scary concept.

I'm not sure if what's around the river bend will be good or bad for me, but I guess I can't really sit here and not find out. The Dreamgiver may still be waiting.

Living in the Sun

I am at constant war with my own psyche. One division of my brain tells me things and makes up thoughts and ideas that the other division tells me to banish and to keep to myself. But the first division is a persistent little bugger, and it torments me constantly. My struggle is not dissimilar to Quasimodo's. My mind is it's own bell tower; I am conflicted between the part that wants to be released and the part that wants to keep these thoughts within.

In a game called "Psychonauts", you assume the role of a psychic spy who enters minds and tries to sort out problems. One of the enemies you'll encounter is the "censor", who will try to stamp out anything it doesn't deem worthy of inhabiting that mind (yourself included.) The lesson is that we should think how we want to think. Thoughts and actions are different- in the words of the immortal Gary Oldman (posing as Sirius Black,) "The world isn't split into good wizards and death eaters. We each have both light and dark within us. It's the part we choose to act on that makes us who we are." I don't believe that means to censor the dark thoughts within, however. Only by accepting them and possibly sharing them can we sort the good thoughts from the bad and figure out what we want to do with the mess we call our minds. The fact that I acknowledge my darker instincts does not make me a bad person, as long as choose to act on what's right.

So I guess this is where my pal the hunchback comes into play. Maybe that's why I can't get this song out of my head. Part of me wants to be free; the only difference is that I am my own captor.

I guess the other reason is that I can't help but see a little of Quasimodo in myself. I'm never going to be the rugged, handsome, prince charming type- I've come to terms with that. The world is always going to hand us problems like they're free keychains, but I can either pity myself or deal with it. The world may be cruel and wicked, but that should only be incentive to try and add a bit of light. Quasimodo loses the girl he loves to the hot guy and gives them his blessing anyway. I can only hope that I may take a lesson away from that.