**this is reposted from a Myspace blog posted on 12/31/07**
It's nearing 3 am, and I am sitting at the Davis' kitchen table while Laura, Vince and Liz try (but fail) to get some sleep in the next room, and Ryan and Lona sleep comfortably in their beds upstairs. I should be trying to sleep, as I'll be waking up to depart for Vegas in 4 hours, but, despite that, I sit here writing. What better time or place?
As 2006 ended, I wished that 2007 would be more interesting; a year that would be noteworthy when I should look back to my college years. "Be careful what you wish for," I guess. That was a wish that became both a blessing and a curse. Though I left the previous year behind with the thinking that nothing important happened, I soon began to realize how much I took what I had for granted. I had some of the best friends I could ask for. Friends with whom I could get into adventures with, film ourselves diving into mounds of mattresses or smashing into tables, fly kites at the beach at 10 pm, or eat bag fulls of cheese sticks in a car in my driveway in the middle of the night.
I receive at call from Ben at around 7 am on March 21st. "I'm sorry to have to tell you... Corinna passed away a few hours ago." What exactly do you say to something like that? This, along with hundreds more questions, is what followed. No one really knows how to respond or what to do when someting like this happens, least of all myself.
I guess it's hard to judge a person's influence on the lives of others until you remove them from the picture. If there's one thing good to come out of her passing, it's that everyone she touched got a little closer. Proof exists in the countless group sleepovers at the Davis house in the following month. The impact of her loss carried pretty much into April and May. I became closer with my friends than perhaps I had ever been with anyone, and made a some great new friends as well. Through eachother, we were able to keep moving forward. Blood isn't always thicker than water.
The summer months were eagerly awaited and much appreciated. It kicked off with a laundry list of oddities in the work place. These include the firing of our Assistant General Manager, employees selling popcorn littered with fresh layers of broken glass, and lets not forget a little incident where myself and several others though it would be a good idea to film an action movie on the roof of the theatre while the boss was out of town.
Summer also meant beach and barbeque madness. It felt like every week held another party, as well as frequent hanging out at Chili's restaurants, many visits to Disneyland, pool parties at Liz's apartment complex, watching movies while in Ryan's spa, and taking lots and lots of pictures. The fun extended to work as well, where we somehow managed to earn money by goofing off at a surf competition, making sock puppet shows, and filming a Surf's Up commercial involving Ryan surfing in a penguin costume.
Summer also meant Harry Potter. Anyone who's anything like myself will have grown up with Harry for the last several years, so the ending of the series was also the ending of an era, and also the end of a piece of our childhood. Despite this, we made sure that Harry got a proper send-off; after receiving our Harry Potter books at the midnight release party at Barnes and Noble, ten of us drove to Liz's apartment, audiobook in hand, and finished the series as a group. We started playing the audio book at 1 am and continued until it was finished. In the end, it took us 30 hours to experience Harry's final fight, and though we were tired and slightly irritable by the end, I think I speak for everyone in saying that it was worth it. After all, we'll never have the opportunity again.
As the summer drew to a close, I found that not only was I not going to be fired for my antics on the roof, I was being offered a promotion (only at Regal.) It was a hard choice for me to make, apprehensive about the extra responsiblity. In the end, I did it for the hash browns. This made things a little more complicated a work, and also put a strain on some of the people I work with who I used to be friendly with.
Work was not the only thing that became more complicated. Having finally finished community college in the Spring, CSUSM was waiting for me in the Fall, atop its looming hills and equiped with its multitude of staircases. I learned that fat guys cannot be friends with stairs, but I had a little help overcoming them from Cesar Chavez. I also found myself learning how to make techno music, how to make my own greeting cards and panoramas, how to create a piece of installation art, and how to plan and operate a gallery style art show. My piece was, of course, a dedication and memorial to Corinna. This helped me put a little bit of closure on the matter.
During this time, I also learned that being in a relationship is hard. Like, really hard. It's easy to be happy in a relationship, let your guard down, and then find yourself having to fix things again. Despite this, things have turned out all right, and I find myself happy in the relationship I'm in, while cautious to not take things for granted.
It also turns out that I'm not the only one who has problems with communication. With the summer months in the past, it seemed like tempers began to flare and drama started oozing every which way. This could be to the rising stress levels everyone experiences during the fall months, combined with demons of the past, but we still remain striving to keep what we have, and keep it working as well. It's easy to get angry and to succumb to drama, but I like to look at the bigger picture; what is actually important? The people I care about, and who care about me.
I think if I've learned one thing this year, it's the value of friendship. As corny and overused as that sounds, I think there are few better times in which that evaluation could be used. I found that, whenever this year when it seemed like everyone hated eachother, the reasons were almost always miniscule and I found myself wondering why that anger appeared in the first place.
To anyone who should still be reading, please take a minute to think about what matters to you the most. Keep that in mind this year. Keep things in perspective. Look at the big picture. If you love someone, little things shouldn't matter.
I leave for Vegas in a few hours to begin a New Year with some of my favorite people. Whatever this year should bring, I think I'm better equiped to deal with it. It may actually be true that love is really all you need.
But maybe, just in case, I should wish for a quiet year this time.
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