Meanwhile, back in the awesome throne room...

It's time for another one of those "what's going on in Matt Chewiwie's life" kind of updates, even though I hate them and I'll wonder why I wrote it when I re-read it again in a few years.

This week has been pure awesome for me. It's pretty much been the first real chance I've had to relax in a long time, which is cool because I thought I'd have to wait until my San Francisco Trip in June before I'd get a break.

Narnia event day went off without (for the most part) without a hitch. Everyone who was supposed to show up made an appearance, games were played, prizes were given to kids, many people took their pictures with our Prince Caspian (played Will Palmer,) kids lined up for their chance to launch our trebuchet, and everyone had a good time all in all. The only problem we really had was with a slight catapult malfunction about midway through the day, which could have been disastrous but thankfully was not.

Since then I've been seeing a lot of movies (I really hadn't had time in the weeks before Narnia,) and getting a lot of time to myself. My number one priority work-wise has been trying to assemble the Narnia book, which means working at home. This has been so relaxing, as I'm working in Adobe InDesign, which is such a chill program to work with, and I can also sit at my computer in my pajamas, listen to music, eat a bowl of cereal and put on Family Guy episodes in the background and say I'm getting paid for it. It also means I don't have to go in to work.

Monday was Memorial day, which meant I had to work in the morning, and in the floor department, which I've had very little experience in as of late, being that I've been entirely focused on promotions. After escaping the mayhem at around 4 pm, I fled to Solana Beach and met up with Amy, Jen and Anjali (one of Amy's high school era friends) at the Belly Up Tavern, where I found them waiting in a line stretched a mile long. Vince joined us not too long afterwards, as well as one of Anjali's friends (whose name I can't remember, but needless to say, he was a superhero.)

The band "Foxboro Hot Tubs" played a super secret, super exclusive concert, limited to about 200 or so tickets sold at the door, hence the massive line. The band is actually Green Day in disguise, so even though they didn't play any normal Green Day songs, all the legions of Green Day fans showed up for a chance to see them. I'd never been a huge Green Day fan myself, but Amy and her crew had been waiting since 2 in the afternoon for the 9 pm show, which I am eternally grateful for as it turned out to be an awesome show. Myself, Jen, Amy and Anjali ended up in the pit, the lead singer crowd surfed on my face several times, and Anajali even ended up on stage at one point. Despite the weird looking drunk girls that kept trying to make advances on me during the show (why always the weird looking drunk ones? Come on!) it was a lot of fun. Denny's happened afterwards, where I'm afraid I may have embarrassed Amy in front of her friends, but I have no regrets in this life.

I spent most of Tuesday morning working on the promo book and taking breaks to play DDR now and then. Lona called me up randomly in the afternoon and suggested we go to Disneyland right then and there (even though I went with her and her family a week prior.) I hadn't been on an impromptu Disneyland trip in a while, so we did in fact drive up there at 4 in the afternoon and hang out until closing. Lines for rides were kind of long, but we wasted time in Innoventions and other random places that we don't usually visit. Also, we witnessed something happen on the Matterhorn... I'm not sure what, but they evacuated the ride, and as we walked by we saw large assorted metal pieces sitting on the ride track, where the ride had been operating only moments prior. Also, there were work lights on in the mountain as we passed by again an hour later. I'm still waiting to read about this on one of my Disney blogs.

Wednesday morning I spent much the same way as Tuesday morning, alternating between book work and DDR. I also called up Liz, and purchased my plane tickets for San Francisco, so now that is officially happening. In the afternoon I joined up with Ryan at his house and we headed down to the pier to set up the second Bigadig Bonfire. This involved digging a massive hole (Shia LaBeouf would be proud) to use as a social tool, since it worked so well at the last bonfire. This thing was much more impressive than the last hole, though; so much that we had groups from other bonfires wanting to sit in it and hang out with us. We made a good amount of new friends.

Other things that happened included swimming (the water is still too cold by the way,) some drunk guys doing cartwheels over a bonfire pit while shooting lighter fluid, and an awesome game of Regal vs. Regal ultimate frisbee (which landed in the ocean several times.) It was a super close game and ended with our team losing 4 to 5, but it also ended with both teams in a massive group hug. After the bonfire, the ones who were still there at the end all met up at Ryan's house for hot tubbing, scrabble, smash bros and mario kart.

It's noon right now- today I plan on taking my car in for an oil change, eating at Souplantation while I wait, and then coming home for more book work and DDR. I may also go to the Davis' house in the evening to watch "The Wizard", which is an old 80's movie that Lona and Ryan have been bugging me to see for a while.

This week has been just what I've needed for the last few months, and right now I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. Hopefully the summer continues much in the same way.

Crossroads

More immortal words of wisdom from the great Brad Neely.

Next post I'll try to actually write something for a change.

"Shit Matters... Even if We Can't Figure it Out"

This video is slightly obscene, but beneath the nonsense and obscenities are some really insightful tidbits that are much in line with how I'm feeling about the world at the moment.

From here on in, I shoot without a script...

Right now I just need to comment real quickly on this strange feeling. It's like being thrown into a pool and not knowing how to swim... but for some reason I'm not afraid of drowning. Just trying not to sink, that's all. I'll have more to say later I suppose...

I'm not sure where I'm going with this- life is confusing. I'll be back when I have something coherent to say.

Tetris

"Tetris" is a misomer; if ever there was a game that should warrant the title "Life," it shouldn't be that stupid board game. Tetris has taught me more about life than many other games I can think of. I hesitate to say that it's the most profound game I've ever played for a few reasons, namely because 1) I've played a LOT of games, and, 2) That would just sound stupid.

But the little falling blocks are kind of profound in their own right. Tetris is a game of sorting things out, and putting them in their proper place. The more you can sort, and the faster you can do this, the higher score you will receive. Really, that's what life is all about- sorting out all the crap that rains down upon us. These problems and situations come in all shapes and colors, and some fall faster than others. Each four digit block represents a tiny piece of adversity, and it's our job to figure out how to deal with these pieces, put them in their proper places, and make them ultimately disappear. If not, you buckle under the pressure.

Everyone who's played has reached that point where you're stacked almost to the top of the screen, barely keeping your head above water, with certain doom being imminent. Every once in a while, maybe just out of sheer luck, or a strange burst of sudden concentration, you'll pull out of that dire situation and manage to not only recover, but clear all the blocks and start back at the beginning. It's such a good feeling.

That's kind of where I'm at right now... clearing the blocks. If you look back on the to do list I posted on this blog a few weeks ago, there are few if any items on that list that have yet to be accomplished. Granted, there are still things being added, but it's shrinking faster than it's growing. I'm not in the clear yet, but there is definitely hope on the horizon.

But then, whenever you reach that point in the game, it seems like you've just gravely offended the game or otherwise pissed it off, and it decides to throw a shit-fit and hurl blocks at you from every direction. Let's hope that doesn't happen.

Tetris is a game you can't win... it just gets harder, and you either get better at it as the game progresses or you die. One way or another, the game wins, so the point is to do your absolute best before time runs out.



I play a lot of Tetris.

Happy Ending

A friend of mine recently introduced me to Mika, a European pop/rock star, and in the last few days it's the only album I've been able to listen to. The songs are, for the most part, catchy and upbeat, and reminds me a whole lot of a modern day Queen. One song she specifically mentioned I should look at was a song called "Happy Ending." The more I hear it, the closer it brings me to tears.

(edit: I can't find a copy of the video that doesn't have embed disabled; here's a link if you really want to watch it.)

Some of the lyrics relate to a few blog posts ago, where I wrote about dreams and whether fantasies or nightmares are better.

"Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell"

"2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on"

I know these feelings all too well. Mika sings that sometimes it's easier to just go to sleep and let ourselves get taken away into another world, but we're always confronted by the bitter truth when we wake up.

But the mood of the song is not completely a downer. The way it builds reminds me of the way you heal after being hurt. It's slow and gradual, but somewhere there's a small bit of hope that carries you forward, even if you really don't know what that bit of hope is or where it's coming from.

My Sitcom Life

I've got to be up in 5 hours and I should be sleeping, but whenever I know I have to get up ridiculously early it seems like my body is afraid to fall asleep in case I don't wake up in time. So here I am, unable to sleep.

If you read my bio on this site you'll see I end with the phrase "It's like a sitcom, and I'm sitting at the edge of my chair, waiting to see what will happen to my own character on the other side of that 2-part season finale cliffhanger." The sitcom analogy is one that I've only recently coined- maybe a year ago or two. The last year or two has definitely felt scripted in some ways, to the point where I can pick out different situations in my head and think of them as "episodes."

I used to be the type who needed to plan out every detail, needing to know exactly what was going to happen to me and how it would play out. To some extent, I am often still that person, but I've found that more and more I've learned to just go with the flow. In this period, this period of great change in my life, that's definitely one of the things I'm beginning to realize... I need to just go with what feels right and watch how things play out. This is not to say that I or anyone should be completely reckless, but I guess what I'm saying is that I'm second-guessing myself less and less. So in a way, I really am like an observer of this sitcom I call my life.

Even more interesting, sometimes I find myself so wrapped up in this analogy that I try to follow supposed "plot lines" that are occurring at any given time and connect them, in hopes of coming to some kind of conclusion. I'll find myself thinking about foreshadowing and other literary devices and see where my life may be leading based on what's already occured, or where in my life the "season finale" or beginning of a new season would begin. Sometimes, I'll even think to myself, "if I was writing this thing, what would I make the characters do?" Often I find that what I want to happen in my life and what I would write as a "writer" of the story of the series are two different things. Sure, I'd love it if I personally reached that happily ever after I dream of. But as a writer for the show, I know that conflict gets better ratings.

I could go on a whole other rant about the writer versus the character, and whether or not we are really in control of our own fates, but I think now I'm actually ready to go to bed. Thank you, internet.

Myself

I think I'm slowly coming to the realization that, in general, I don't quite care for myself as much as I should. This is not meant to be taken in a negative light; I think I've just settled with who I am, never questioning what kind of a person I could be. At midway through the year it's a bit too late for New Year's Resolutions, but I think that, if last year was the year I realized how important my loved ones are, this year may be the year where I realize how important myself is. I think it's time to break that apathy that I've fallen into over the last few years. I want to try to treat people better, and try to give second chances. I want to keep a more open mind on all things in general. I want to take better care of myself (as it's the only self I've got.) I want to at least make some progress toward figuring out my place in the universe.

And all the while, I want to have one hell of a good time.

Will I succeed? Who knows. Do I really mean any of this, or am I just particularly angsty at the moment, turning to my online journal like so many others? Ehh... questions I won't bother contemplating. This has been a bit more dramatic that my usual musings, I know, but I think that if I set my goals high enough, I'll never run out of stuff to do. I mean, what do I have to lose? May as well give it a shot.

Keep Moving Forward.